What a strange feeling. I just looked up my turkey recipe from last year, and apparently I was feeling a bit flippant. So I left this goofy recipe for myself to find and enjoy this year. Thanks, last-year me!

Obviously I was deeply influenced by Albert Berneko’s pot roast “recipe,” which is one of my favorite pieces of writing ever, period. So read mine first. Nothing I write can follow this. https://deadspin.com/how-to-cook-a-pot-roast-a-guide-for-people-who-want-to-5970682

But mine does have the distinction of being my honest-to-God actual recipe that I am going to use to cook an actual turkey. So all those little warnings and admonitions? They’re in deadly earnest. From me to me. And now to you.

Check out this recipe for “Turkey, Brined and Roasted” in Plan To Eat. https://www.plantoeat.com/recipes/30653094